


The Fall

by OneHundredPercentWrong



Category: Star War Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Dark Rey, Dark Side Rey, Dark!Rey, F/M, Gen, Internal Conflict, Lightsabers, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Temptation, The Dark Side of the Force, The First Order, The Force, the resistance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-25 22:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13222296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHundredPercentWrong/pseuds/OneHundredPercentWrong
Summary: "She’d seen the hatred in his eyes. She’d had seen what he was truly capable of doing. There was no going back for Ben Solo."After the Resistance blasts a cruiser through Snoke’s ship, Rey finds herself alone with an unconscious Kylo Ren. Out of an act of pure hatred, she does something to him that cannot be undone. Questioning what it takes to be a Jedi, Rey deals with the consequences of her actions and explores the Dark Side of the Force as she is challenged to take desperate measures for the survival of the Resistance. Meanwhile, she takes note of Kylo Ren’s changed demeanor and wonders if he perhaps feels the call the to Light...





	1. Rage

Jakku certainly wasn’t the nicest place in the galaxy. At a glance, all one would see is sand, ruin, death, and more sand. There wasn’t much more to it. Filled with the worst people and almost void of food, Jakku was truly an awful place. But it was home. It was all Rey ever knew before her life took a completely unexpected turn. She often wondered whether it for better or for worse. In this current moment, probably for worse. Jakku seemed like a fine place right about now.

Staring out into the beyond, Rey observed the damage done to the ship. Debris painted the vacuum that was outer space and a sizable portion of the ship was broken off as if someone cut it clean in half. Looking further, the rest of the First Order’s fleet seemed to have also taken quite a hit. Her eyes were met with the beautiful destruction of about a dozen Star Destroyers. No weapon in her knowledge could have caused so much damage.

Rey removed her gaze from the First Order’s fleet and looked ahead, in search of what was left of the Resistance. Peering through the magnifier she had looked through only moments before, Rey found the sight a billion stars and a small planet in the distance, but nothing else. Before, there had been a couple dozen transports fleeing from the main cruiser.

Piecing the evidence together, Rey figured that they had escaped to the planet in the distance, as there was nowhere left to go. As for the main cruiser that was running on fumes, she hadn’t a clue where it could have gone.

Again, Rey averted her attention. Surveying the room she was in, many feelings washed over her. Snoke’s dead body laid in pieces around his throne. The Praetorian guards were scattered around the entire room, silenced forever. The ominous red drapes had been burned or ripped, leaving an unobstructed view of the stars. In the middle of it all, Ben– no, Kylo Ren lay unconscious. Everything that had just happened overwhelmed her with traces of panic, anxiousness, fear, _anger_...

Choosing not to dwell on _him_ or anything else that happened, Rey began her search for an escape. Everything was all too much for her to handle. A couple of weeks ago she was a nobody that scavenged the ruins of Jakku. Today, she was, well, still a nobody.

Stepping around what was left of Snoke, Rey made her way around the throne, looking for a quick way out. Eying the area, she managed to spot a small latch in the floor, barely visible against the reflective black surface. Squatting down, she reached out a hand and grabbed hold. Opening with surprising ease, Rey found herself looking down into an escape pod; presumably Snoke’s.

Without even thinking twice, Rey threw herself into the compartment below and started to ready the pod for launch. Unfamiliar with the controls, she fumbled around with various buttons before realizing she was missing something.

The lightsaber.

Finally getting the pod readied, Rey hastily climbed out to find the remains of Luke’s shattered lightsaber.

The two pieces had gone flying in opposite directions, meaning they could be anywhere in the room. The one thing that Rey wanted to do was leave this awful place, so she picked up her pace and rapidly scanned the room as she patrolled around. Before she had a chance to search thoroughly, an object on the floor caught her eye.

Hardly visible on the dark floor, there sat a lightsaber, though not the one she was looking for. This one belonged to Kylo Ren, possibly the most hated man in the galaxy.

Automatically, Rey bent over and picked it up cautiously, as if it could wound her at any moment.

Glancing between the object in her hands, and the owner of said object, Rey wanted more than anything smash the lightsaber to a thousand pieces. The man that lay unconscious only a few feet away didn’t deserve to own such a weapon. She’d seen the hatred in his eyes. She’d had seen what he was truly capable of doing. There was no going back for Ben Solo.

Kylo Ren was the only thing left. A shadow of what could have truly been a great Jedi Knight. The Dark Side of the Force had taken hold of him and it wouldn’t be releasing anytime soon. Ben Solo was dead.

She used to think differently. Redemption was something everyone had a shot at. Even Darth Vader had proved that. But she could see now that Kylo Ren was nothing but a ruthless murderer that craved power above all else.

The moment that he had ignited the lightsaber to kill Snoke, Rey thought that Ben Solo had come back.

She was wrong. Very wrong.

After the fight, she could still see no trace of light. Just the same hatred and fire present in the eyes of only Kylo Ren. Killing Snoke wasn’t Ben Solo trying to redeem himself of all the terrible things he’s done; it was Kylo Ren ridding one more obstacle in his path to power.

Lost in her thoughts, Rey came to her senses and noticed that she was now standing over his motionless body.

She moved her attention back to the item in her hand.

Rey could put an end to a whole a lot of destruction and reign with a single press of a button. She had a chance to save millions, if not, billions of lives. The galaxy surely wouldn’t mind if Kylo Ren were gone. He was more monster than man; he had even admitted it himself.

That glimmer of hope that she had seen in him was long gone.

The very same second that the thought of killing Kylo Ren crossed her mind, Rey felt a million different feelings hit her all at once. Again, she felt panic because of the limited time she had. Anxiousness, due to the impending consequences that would arise. The whole situation also made her fearful, something she was quite familiar with. But most of all, she felt anger…

The rage that flowed through her was a totally new feeling. Jakku had taught her not to get too caught up on the little things and to move on, as nothing there was ever forgiving. Having a positive outlook on anything and everything was the only way to make it. The hopes she had that her parents would eventually come back were one of the only things driving her.

But this wasn’t Jakku. Rey knew now that her parents would never come back. And now, she was furious. Not just at Kylo Ren, but everything. Snoke, for turning seducing Ben to the Dark Side. The First Order, for being a relentless presence in every corner of the galaxy. Finn, for dragging her into all of this in the first place. Luke, for not teaching her a damn thing and refusing to help the Resistance. Her parents, for abandoning her.

Her eyes moved back to Kylo Ren’s unconscious form.

This man killed his own father in cold blood, and for what? To please his master? Rey didn’t do anything for anyone. She grew up lonely and afraid. Where she comes from, depending on others isn’t an option. It was time to take the fate of the galaxy into her own hands.

Looking at Kylo Ren with a new fire in her eyes, Rey found that she couldn’t kill him, though it wasn’t because she was too afraid to do it. Death was far too good for someone like him. Killing him wouldn’t stop the First Order anyway. He was just one person among millions.

One person capable of the cruelest acts of evil.

The satisfaction of watching him die would be too short-lived. He needed to suffer, to hurt. Kylo Ren deserved nothing more than to be broken and ruined.

In an instant, Rey thought up something that she never before even considered. This new-found rage inside her seemed to conjure the thought in her head. He was unconscious and unarmed, though her dark thoughts didn’t seem to care. Not even thinking twice or considering the outcomes of her next actions, Rey chose to ignore the logical side of her brain.

She would break him.

Rey slowly shifted her gaze from his scarred and beaten face. Moving her eyes down his body she finally settled her scrutinizing glare on Kylo Ren’s right hand.

With the press of a button, the red lightsaber sprung to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been looking through various works and the idea of Rey turning to the Dark Side really intrigued me. Quite a few other stories have explored this idea, but I'd thought I'd have a go at it. If possible, please leave some feedback as I'm not sure if this type of story interests you guys as much as it interests me. Thanks for reading!


	2. Pain

Today was supposed to be a good day.

After managing to crack hyperspace tracking, the First Order had had the Resistance tied on the end of a string. The Resistance had been completely outnumbered, outclassed and outsmarted. By now, the last of them should have been gone and the galaxy would have been better for it. But, like always, the Resistance seemed to find a way to prevail.

General Hux silently cursed the heavens as he surveyed the damage dealt to the Supremacy through the control room windows. The ship had been split in two as if it were merely a broken toy.

Lightspeed. _Lightspeed_. Who would’ve thought that the Resistance would blast an entire cruiser through a fleet of Star Destroyers?

There’s no question about it that Supreme Leader Snoke would not be pleased, but a report to him was necessary.

Heaving an exasperated breath, Hux gave a final glance at the wreckage outside and turned on his heels, making his way towards Snoke’s chambers.

Their entire fleet had been destroyed in one swift move. With what remained, Hux could probably count the number of ships they had left on one hand. And yet again, the Resistance had escaped. Right now Hux should be reporting to Supreme Leader about their decisive victory over the Resistance, but instead he’s delivering news of failure. Again.

His good day was ruined.

Stalling his approach to the elevator, Hux scratched his head and began brainstorming excuses to tell Snoke. But considering the circumstances, nothing would excuse blowing a fifteen-to-one lead to the Resistance.

Pushing the button for Snoke’s chambers, Hux secretly hoped that the ship’s damages had broken the elevator, but was disappointed to feel the compartment start it’s upward climb.

By the time that the small compartment had come to a stop, Hux had to wipe his brow clear of sweat. His nerves had settled slightly, and he had mentally prepared himself for the incoming verbal assault from his leader, but a completely unexpected sight met him in the chambers.

When the doors opened, the first thing he saw was the glow of a familiar red lightsaber. Except it’s owner wasn’t the one wielding it.

Adjusting to the situation, Hux found Kylo Ren sprawled on the floor unconscious and standing above him, the scavenger who held a red, glowing sword.

Panicking, Hux threw his hand toward his holster, and retrieved his blaster. Hux hastily pointed the weapon at unnamed scavenger, and slipped his finger over the trigger, but stopped before taking fire.

Taking a closer look, the scavenger didn’t seem to have noticed him at all, but instead had her full attention on the man on the ground before her. She had a certain look in her eye that Hux had seen oh so many times in Kylo Ren himself. It was a look of pure rage, the look of a murderer targeting their next victim. A mad and frightening look only given by someone full of hatred. He could feel it radiating off of her even though he was a good distance away, being on the other side of the room.

Observing the scene playing out in front of him, Hux realized that this scavenger was seconds away from killing Kylo Ren. Lowering his weapon ever so slightly, he found he was about to let her do it. And that sat just fine with him. He could deal with her when she was finished.

This place would be better off without the late Ben Solo. He was just another power-hungry fool trying to be the next Vader.

When the scavenger just kept staring at Ren with that fire in her eyes, Hux quirked his head in surprise. She didn’t appear to be driving the red blade through him. Instead, the scavenger steadily brought the saber towards Ren’s outstretched hand that lay against the floor. Ever so slowly, she brought the tip of the saber towards his cloth-covered forearm, just below Ren’s elbow.

Realizing what she was about to do, Hux lowered his blaster and watched with a blank stare as the scavenger gradually brought the lightsaber closer to his right arm, and made contact.

Ren seemed to visibly flinch in his sleep when the burning blade started it’s slow journey through flesh and bone, but that didn’t stop the scavenger. Unhurriedly, she kept a slow yet steady pace as she cut through Ren’s arm. Hux could practically see the tissue being stripped from the bone as it burned and disintegrated in a fiery red glow.

At this point, a terrible, blood-curdling scream filled the chambers, indicating that Kylo Ren had finally woken up.

With the blazing rod stuck firmly in Ren’s arm, the scavenger quickly planted her right foot firmly on his chest as he started to thrash around violently. She clearly didn’t want him interfering with her work.

Briefly looking beyond the scene in front of him, Hux took notice of what was left in the room. His eyes were met with an empty throne, a dozen dead guards, and a view of the destruction outside.

Eyes growing in horror, Hux finally began to register what exactly had happened.

The scavenger, the very same one with the Resistance, had killed their Supreme Leader and the rest of the guards. Somehow managing to knock Ren unconscious, she was now _torturing_ him and was clearly _enjoying_ it.

And Hux wasn’t doing a damn thing about it.

Blaster forgotten, Hux took an extra step forward and silently cleared his throat before filling the room with his voice.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” echoed the menacing voice of Hux, barely louder than Kylo Ren’s screams of pain.

With a final jolt of the saber, the scavenger finished her job and detached a sizable portion of Ren’s arm from the rest of his body. The screaming stopped as she switched off the lightsaber and turned her attention towards Hux, leaving Ren whimpering on the ground.

Hux barely managed not to flinch when her gaze landed on him. The menacing look in her eye had yet to dissipate.

The scavenger thrust an arm out into the space between them, hand shaped to a position as though she were grabbing at a non-existent object.

Not having even a second to comprehend what she might be doing, a terrible sensation washed over Hux. As if someone had snuck up behind him, threw a rope around his neck and started pulling with all their might, his throat began to seize up. Dropping his weapon to the sleek floor, Hux threw both of his hands towards his jugular in an attempt to stop the invisible _force_ around his neck.

He was choking.

Just as quickly as it had begun, the tension released and Hux found himself gasping for air as he caught sight of the scavenger quickly dropping her outstretched arm. Falling to his knees, Hux didn’t even have time to catch his breath before Kylo Ren’s deep voice filled the room.

“Shoot her, you idiot!”

Ignoring the insulting comment from the apprentice on the floor, Hux hurriedly reached for his dropped weapon. With shaky hands, he managed to get a somewhat poor hold on his blaster and took aim at the scavenger, though he hesitated yet again.

Hux found that she seemed to be frozen on the spot, staring at him in terror. The very same fire in her eyes that stalled him before was no longer present; it had smoldered and gone out. The fearful look she was giving him had nothing to do with the fact that she had a blaster pointed directly at her.

Being a general had given Hux quite a bit of experience. Dealing with various species around the galaxy required patience and good judgement, especially when the First Order is involved. Looking into the eyes of allies and enemies alike had allowed him to easily recognize just what they might be feeling. And meeting the fearful, frightened eyes of the scavenger spelled out one thing.

Guilt.

Too lost in his thoughts, Hux failed to notice the scavenger turn and flee from the scene.

“What are you doing?!” bellowed Ren, as the scavenger raced her way around Snoke’s unoccupied throne and towards the escape pod.

Attempting catch the scavenger, Hux picked himself up from the glossy floor and ran after her, finally pulling the trigger. His shaky hands sent the red bolts flying in all sorts of directions, hitting everything but his intended target.

Finally making his way around the throne, Hux came to a dead stop when he found the hatch to the escape pod open and the pod already launched. No sign of the scavenger.

Looking up from the black floor to the exposed windows, Hux found the pod zooming off in the direction of Crait.

The scavenger had got away. Yet another thing to add to today’s list of failures.

Stepping out from behind the throne, Hux adjusted his disheveled cloak and looked down at what remained of their Supreme Leader.

“She did all of this?” Hux scrutinized, gesturing to the room as he looked back at Kylo Ren, who now sat upright with his gaze directed towards his former right hand.

Ren seemed to hesitate for a moment before answering quietly, “Yes.”

Hux frowned. He wasn’t convinced.

Watching as Ren stood up and examined the blackened stump just below his elbow, Hux decided to make a snide remark.

“At least it’s cauterized.”

“Fuck off.”

Ren turned and appeared to search for something. Hux watched in confusion.

Still searching, Ren questioned, “Did she take it?”

Not a clue what he was referring to, Hux responded, “Take what?”

“The saber.”

Pursing his lips, Hux prepared for another galaxy-famous Kylo Ren temper tantrum as he slowly replied, “Yes. She took your lightsaber.”

Shaking his head, Ren was quick to respond. “No, no, no. _The_ saber.”

Hux was surprised not have Ren completely lose it. Knowing full well which lightsaber he was referring to, Hux gave his response.

“If you mean the broken one lying near your hand, then no. No she did not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, have I got big plans for this story


	3. Regret

None of this should have happened.

Rey was perfectly fine with scavenging around the ruins of her former home if it meant not having to deal with the repercussions of her actions. Only moments ago, she had slowly tore Kylo Ren’s limb from his body as she watched him suffer. He had been unconscious, undefended and unsuspecting. But that didn’t even cross her mind once until she had finished.

Now sitting in the cramped escape pod clearly designed for only one person, Rey was closing in on the planet of Crait, all while contemplating what had just transpired on Snoke’s ship.

Vaguely remembering contacting Chewie to meet on Crait with the Falcon, Rey tried to focus her thoughts on what would greet her when she arrived. She found the task quite difficult to achieve as thoughts of Kylo Ren’s terrified eyes clouded her brain and echoes of his screams of agony filled her mind.

For a moment, she had glanced into Kylo Ren’s eyes and saw something she thought was lost. The most fearsome man in the galaxy had been reduced to a boy pleading for mercy. A broken soul trying too hard be something he’s not. She had saw the eyes of Ben Solo.

And if driving a lightsaber through his arm was what it took to kill the monster and bring Ben back, then Rey would do it again if she had to. Although, seeing Kylo Ren squirm in pain beneath her had given her a sense of fulfillment. It made her feel  _ powerful _ .

But it wasn’t right. Nothing made torturing another human being acceptable. Or any species for that matter. Now that she’d had time to dwell on her actions, Rey found that she was no better than the Kylo Ren himself.

To top it all off, she had  _ force-choked _ General Hux. When Rey had finally noticed his presence after her work on Kylo, she didn’t even think. She just did. It’s almost like she reacted on instinct, not even considering the consequences. As if she had done it a thousand times, choking Hux came almost as a natural reaction.

For a brief moment, Rey wondered why she had even let go of her hold around his throat.

Both feelings of remorse and satisfaction swam through her mind.

Contacting Chewie and R2-D2, Rey was given coordinates to the Resistance’s location as the pod made its final approach towards Crait. 

As if the look on her face would tell them exactly what she had just done, Rey suddenly nervous about meeting with the Resistance. Not only had she just committed at least two acts of pure evil, but she had returned from Ahch-To empty handed. They were expecting Luke Skywalker, not some conflicted scavenger.

The next few minutes seemed to pass by in a blur as the pod neared the chalky white surface of Crait and zoomed towards the makeshift rebel base. In almost the blink of an eye, Rey was landing the pod just inside the massive metal doors that held what was left of the Resistance.

As she came to a stop beside the Millennium Falcon, Rey found herself longing to stay in the pod. At the moment, the last thing she wanted to do was be around other people. The others would probably fear her if they found out just how cruel she could be. But she needed to help the Resistance in any way she could.

They depended on her.

But did she depend on them?

Before Rey could answer her own clashing thoughts, the hatch to the pod was pulled open.

“Rey!”

Instantly recognizing the familiar voice, Rey lunged out of the pod and hugged Finn, her worries temporarily forgotten.

Speaking for the first time in what felt like forever, Rey admitted, “I missed you.”

It’s true. Rey had found herself longing to see her friend healthy and alive after that horrible incident on Starkiller Base. It was a miracle in itself that Finn had survived the wrath of Kylo Ren.

Finn gave a light chuckle and they separated. Looking into his eyes as she pulled away, Rey wondered how she could have ever been mad at Finn. He was probably one of the bravest people she had ever met. He was the first person not to look at her as if she were merely a piece of garbage.

But all of this was because of him. Rey would have never left Jakku and got involved in any of this if it weren’t for Finn. She would never be in the position she was right now if she hadn’t met Finn.

Removing her increasingly frustrated stare from him, Rey began her survey of the cavern that the base was stationed in. Just under a dozen transports remained from the thirty or so that had fled from the main cruiser. Off to the side, the command room was built into the red rock surrounding it with a clear signs of erosion and decay, indicating that this place hasn’t been occupied in years.

Looking beyond the cruisers and command room, a seemingly endless series of tunnels stretched deep into the planet. A five minute walk could have you struggling to find your way back.

Finishing her observation of the base, Rey settled her gaze on the remaining rebels. Some were staring at her, while most were busy trying to organize and assemble what was left of the Resistance. The irrational anger she had felt before evaporated when she saw the shockingly low numbers.

“Is this really all that’s left?” Rey questioned, hoping that this wasn’t everyone.

Finn responded. “There’s a few more people in the command room, but yes.”

Crestfallen, Rey turned back to him and found him wearing a defeated look.

Keeping his eyes on her, Finn glanced downward and asked, “What happened to your arm?”

Taking a look at the gash below her shoulder, Rey answered honestly, “Got in a fight.”

“With Luke Skywalker?” Finn asked, eyebrows raised.

Rey almost answered yes, but stopped when she realized what damage that would cause. Anyway, the injury originated from a different fight. It suddenly felt like ages ago that she had fought Snoke’s guards.

“Er– no,” she answered. About to tell him that she got hurt while fighting  _ alongside _ Kylo Ren, Rey figured that was also a bad idea. It would probably be best to lie for now. “I got cut during a fight against Kylo Ren.”

Looking surprised yet again, Finn asked, “When? Where? Why?”

Heaving a deep breath, Rey responded, “About an hour ago, on Snoke’s ship, and because he, er, tried to kill me.”

Rey had become used to lying after all those years in the unforgiving deserts of Jakku, but it killed her to do it to her only friend. She didn’t want to talk about what she had really done. For the first time, she was scared of herself.

“Oh,” was all that managed to trickle out of Finn’s mouth.

“Yeah.”

The silence was uncomfortable.

Rey asked a question just for the purpose of breaking the silence. “Do you know how the First Order’s fleet was destroyed?”

“No, actually,” Finn answered. “I was wondering that myself.”

“I thought you were aboard the transports. Wouldn’t you have seen it?”

Shaking his head, Finn answered, “No, I wasn’t on the transports.”

It was Rey’s turn to look surprised. “Really? Where have you been?”

Grimacing, Finn stole a glance at girl behind him and began, “Well, it’s a bit of a long story–”

Before he had a chance to finish, let alone start, the sound of a door opening echoed throughout the cavern.

Rey spun her head in the direction of the sound to find Leia stepping out of the command room.

Like a slap to the face, Rey finally came to terms with her actions. She had tortured  _ General Leia Organa’s _ son. Kylo Ren was the only thing left reminding her of her late husband, and Rey had foolishly damaged an already broken family.

Back on Jakku, she had heard stories,  _ legends _ , of the Rebellion and their leader. Leia had become a hero to Rey; someone she could look up to. Anything of that nature was something she held onto, as growing up without any real parental figures was demanding. Leia had been a lifelong idol to her.

You aren’t supposed to torture and inflict agonizing pain on your idol’s only son.

Rey was unable to look the general in the eyes as she stepped closer to greet her.

“Rey.”

Giving a polite nod back, Rey became very uneasy.

“Follow me. We’ll get you up to speed on everything,” Leia continued.

With that, General Organa turned at led Rey towards the command.

Rey had willingly tortured her son, and  _ enjoyed every second of it _ . Only someone sick in the head would even consider doing such a thing. It’s almost as though she had become a completely different person. 

Leia’s soft, innocent, and soothing voice nearly crushed Rey. The general had no idea what Rey had just done to her son. Leia had looked at her so indifferently, it was easy to tell that she hadn’t a clue who she was looking at. Rey’s unspoken actions made her seem like a twisted person with no sense of morality. And perhaps she was.

Maybe it was her turn to be the monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to keep a back-and-forth structure in this story involving different point of views. Hopefully it works out.


	4. Trust

Finn hated the First Order just as much as everyone else, if not more. Being a Stormtrooper his whole life had taught him just how cruel they could be. They were a reigning superpower that resembled what the Galactic Empire once was. Finn had seen this first hand, having spent his whole life on the inside, obeying orders and enduring harsh treatment. He had been merely another one of the First Order's puppets.

Although the First Order needed them, Stormtroopers were expendable. They could be sent out to do the dirty work and not have any repercussions. The First Order made Finn and millions of others feel like nobodies. Like they didn't exist.

But not Rey.

Running into Rey on Jakku was one of the best things to ever happen to him. For the first time in his life, he wasn't looked at like he was a waste of space. Ever since then, Finn's life has changed for the better.

Rey was the first person Finn had ever been able to depend on.

That's why he was elated to see her zooming towards the base in an escape pod. Having just been informed by Chewie about Rey coming back, Finn had been keeping a lookout for her ever since he arrived on Crait.

While everyone else was busy setting up camp, Finn sprinted over to the pod containing Rey the second that she landed in the hangar. After pulling the hatch open and calling her name, he found himself wrapped up in a hug with her.

The last time he saw Rey, she was lying unconscious in the snow on Starkiller Base as he attempted to fight Kylo Ren. Knowing that she was okay made him not want to let go.

Her first words were, "I missed you."

Smiling to himself, Finn couldn't stop a snicker from coming out.

When they pulled away from each other, something about her seemed a little off.

The first indication was the bloodshot eyes that looked as though she hadn't slept in days. As Finn finally got a good look at her, it was easy to tell that she wasn't the same Rey he was used to seeing. Her exhausted look didn't suit her one bit. She looked nervous and fidgety as she checked out the base they were located in. The short glimpse Finn had managed to get of her eyes had shown him that that hopeful, optimistic look had been replaced by something else. A look of foreboding seemed to have taken refuge in her eyes and she kept a tense stance as she turned back towards him.

In a small voice, Rey asked, "Is this really all that's left?"

Even though it had simply been a question, it still struck a nerve with Finn. He and Rose could have saved  _ everyone _ .

"There are a few people in the command room, but yes."

Had Finn trusted Admiral Holdo, the Resistance would have successfully managed to escape. But like almost everything else in life, things went sideways. Their code-breaker from Canto Bight saw the opportunity to escape and sold out the Resistance, leaving Finn partially responsible for the deaths of many rebels.

Clearing his mind of those self-loathing thoughts, Finn took a long look at Rey. Her old, dirty scavenger outfit was gone, replaced by a much cleaner set of clothes. The signature three buns she usually sported were gone, letting her dark hair fall past her shoulders; a look Finn wasn't used to seeing on her. It was hard to tell she had lived in a wasteland her whole life.

Upon further inspection, Finn spotted a fresh wound on her arm.

Suddenly concerned, he asked, "What happened to your arm?"

The next thing he knows, Rey is telling him that she got into a fight with Kylo Ren. A million questions ran through his head. Finn managed to ask a few of them before deciding not to bombard her with more. She did just get here, after all.

Rey answered his spew of questions anyway. Learning that she had been on the Supremacy at the same him and Rose was quite a shock to him.

"Oh."

"Yeah," she replied with a timid voice.

Finn took a moment to contemplate what had happened. How did she get on Snoke's ship? What became of Luke Skywalker? Where was he?

So caught up in his many thoughts, he almost didn't catch Rey asking about what destroyed the First Order's fleet.

Finn answered honestly, telling her that he had no idea.

When Rey questioned why, Finn was ready to dive into an explanation of what he and Rose were up to. However, he was abruptly cut off when General Organa stepped out of the command.

He didn't miss the fact that Rey tensed up when she saw the princess.

Beckoning both of them inside, the general walked into the command with Rey and Finn following suit.

Stepping inside, Finn watched as everybody welcomed Rey back.

Shortly after, everyone gathered around what instruments they had left to use and began a debriefing.

Finn was informed of what he missed while on his mission. Apparently, Admiral Holdo had gone lightspeed through the entire First Order's fleet. Before, Finn hadn't been too fond of Holdo, but he was now grateful. Her sacrifice saved the Resistance. She also had saved him from being painfully executed.

General Organa began to list the supplies they had, the headcount, and other information, as Finn directed his attention directed elsewhere.

He noticed that Rey hadn't spoken much. Her gaze lingered on everything but the people around her, almost as though she were afraid of them. Something about the expression on her face said that she really didn't want to be there.

As though Leia was thinking the same thing as Finn, she spoke directly to Rey. "How was your trip? How's Luke?"

Rey didn't meet the general's eyes.

"He's not coming back."

Everyone, Finn included, had not expected that response. A brutal silence fell over the room.

The remaining rebels kept their eyes glued to the former scavenger, hoping she would elaborate, but were disappointed when she turned and left the scene. Just like everyone else, Finn watched in shock as Rey walked out, looking tired and frustrated.

Finn looked back at Leia to find a slight frown on her face along with a defeated stare directed at the ground.

Whatever happened to Rey, she clearly didn't want to talk about it. At least not in front of the general. Finn had seen her during the meeting. Not once did Rey even glance in the direction of the leader of the Resistance. It's like she made a conscious effort not to. Something was definitely bothering her.

Maybe she didn't want to talk, but Finn found himself trying to catch up with Rey as she walked towards the Falcon.

"Rey!" he called out, stopping her at the entrance to the freighter.

She over her shoulder at him. "What is it, Finn?"

Sensing her annoyance, Finn stuttered, "Wh– what are you doing?"

"I need some time alone."

"You just arrived. Now you're taking the Falcon?" Finn feared she was leaving.

Suddenly, Rey gave a small smile and shook her head. "No, I'm not leaving."

Dramatically placing a hand over his heart, Finn said, "Oh, you had me worried there for a second."

Rey shook her again. "No, it's okay. I just," she frowned, "need some time to think."

"About what?"

She didn't answer.

Finn's brain instantly jumped to about a hundred different conclusions. Voicing one of them, he asked, "You seemed pretty uncomfortable back there. Is it about Luke?"

"Not exactly."

"Did something happen to him? Is he in trouble? Should we–"

"Don't worry about Luke, he's fine," Rey interrupted. She sighed. "He's just not what I thought he'd be…"

Finn nodded his head in understanding.

After a short while, Rey broke the silence and asked, "Do you trust me?"

Caught off guard by the heavy question, he gave spluttered, "Y– yeah. Yes, I do."

She looked at him skeptically.

"I trust you, Rey," Finn repeated. "More than anyone."

He didn't have to lie to her. It was true. This girl in front of him had shown Finn what it really meant to have a friend. It was almost ridiculous to even ask him if he trusted her.

Seeming uncomfortable, Rey said softly, "I'm going to tell you something."

Leaning in, Finn gave her his full attention. If he needed to trust her for whatever she was about to say, it must be important.

Rey shifted slightly. "I– I did something. Something horrible."

Finn hadn't a clue where this was going. "What?" he asked. "What did you do?"

She remained silent and looked away.

Before Finn could nag her any further, Rey reached down into her pocket and pulled out an object she clearly wanted to keep hidden. Finn's eyes landed on a lightsaber. He almost asked why she was presenting it to him until he got a good look at it.

It wasn't Luke's.

Recognizing the protruding cylinders from the tip, Finn realized he was looking at Kylo Ren's infamous triple-threat lightsaber.

Looking back at Rey in astonishment, he stammered "Did you– did you  _ kill him _ ?" This would certainly be cause for celebration if she had managed to kill Kylo Ren. She held the very same lightsaber that had created the ugly scar on his back.

"No."

Finn frowned. "No?"

"No. I didn't."

Confusion clouded Finn's mind. If Rey hadn't killed Kylo Ren, how did she end up with his weapon? Rey certainly could have stolen it, but why would that have her so worked up? Nothing made any sense.

"I didn't kill him, I– er," she struggled to speak.

"It's okay, Rey," Finn prodded her on. "You can trust me."

"I know that," she replied as if it were obvious. "But can  _ you _ trust me?"

Finn didn't understand. "We've been through this. Of course I do."

Just like that, the floodgates opened.

Keeping her eyes downward and avoiding Finn's stare, Rey started. "I didn't kill him, even though I had the chance. I could've.  _ I should've _ . The opportunity to save millions of lives by taking one was right in front of me." She paused and took a breath. "When I stood over him with the saber in my hand, I found myself  _ angry _ . Not just at him, but everything. I didn't even try to stop myself from giving into that anger. I– I cut off his hand."

Well, that certainly wasn't what Finn had been expecting. Sure it was a cruel thing to do, but it wasn't horrible. Finn certainly wouldn't mind taking a swing at the evil apprentice's arm should the occasion arise. That man had nearly killed him. He failed to see why she was so ashamed.

Finn tried to offer some consolation. "Well, that doesn't sound that bad. He could just get a prosthetic–"

Rey's head snapped up and she met his eyes. "No, you don't understand."

She was right; Finn really didn't.

"I didn't just cut Kylo Ren's hand off," continued Rey as though it physically hurt to speak, "I  _ tortured _ him while doing so. It was as though I was trying to make it as painful as possible for him. He started screaming and thrashing around, but I just kept going. Until it was over, not once did it cross my mind to stop."

Finn remained silent.

Rey's voice had gradually reduced to a near whisper. "Not only did I torture him, I almost killed another using the Force. General Hux walked in, and– and I choked him…"

The image of Rey bringing Hux near death startled him. Not so much because she almost killed him, but because of the way she did it. Finn had heard stories about using the Force to choke someone to death. It was a sadistic and twisted thing to do, performed only by users of the Dark Side of the Force. The last person to have done it was Darth Vader himself…

"Do you still trust me?"

Snapping out of his reverie, Finn found Rey's pleading eyes trained on him.

Finally, Finn figured it out. The uncomfortable looks, the silence, not meeting anyone's eyes; this was the source. She didn't even trust herself. Finn knew something was up right from the start.

Torturing someone wasn't something you do every day, especially someone like Rey. Along with her barbaric use of the Force, she had caused a lot of pain. It didn't matter that she had done it to two of the most hated people in the galaxy; they were still  _ people _ . Plus, if her anger had really driven her actions, what would she do next time?

Staring back into those guilty eyes, Finn found that he couldn't answer the question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not sorry


End file.
